I tend to speak in very sophisticated terms in the kitchen, using big words like “whisk, boil, and stir” which he cannot comprehend.
His sense of smell is that of a confused toddler, and he is incapable of determining when something is on the verge of burning.
He causes a really big stink when spices fall from the cabinet into his pots and pans, therefore becoming even more agitated and losing his focus on the task at hand, (in this case, the burning mushrooms and onions.)
Really it is my fault. I should have known better than to try and do too many things at once, but I had the aforementioned belly ache peach cake on my mind and I knew that if I waited too late, it wouldn’t happen. So I picked the simplest dinner on our weekly menu, which was chicken marsala. Ladies and Gents, it is hard to mess up chicken marsala. Really the only thing you can do to ruin it is spit in it, or burn it.
Since this is not a restaurant we are running, you guessed it, bird dog lost his focus. I was focusing on said peach cake and relaying instructions to him, however, when I mentioned that the mushrooms and onions were burning, his reaction went as follows:
“What do you mean they’re burning? They are fine, Whitney. What are you doing? Why are you switching pans?” Well my dear when your pan looks like this, you should probably stop using it. I exaggerate, no curse words were drawn in the bottom of the pan however, the damage had been done. When the marsala was added to the new pan, it gave off this lovely black asphalt liquid color. Now call me crazy, but YUM. Bless his heart, the poor boy ate it for dinner. You know me, if at first you don’t succeed, order pizza! He said it was fine, which further made me realize that I could be a terrible cook and he would still think I was the best out there. BLESS HIS HEART! Once again there are no pictures of this dish, because it was black and let’s get real I have a reputation to maintain.
I do have to give Brian credit, he is the best little parmesan grater in the world! He washes dishes wonderfully and will pour me wine anytime I ask, and as you know, I love myself some wine.
On a serious note, the man can carve a bird like none other and he looks great in an apron, can build a fire from scratch ( and matches, what did you think this was - the wilderness?) and overall has the greatest hairdo of all time. That is pure talent - although not in the kitchen - worth keeping around!
Below you will find my very simple Chicken Marsala recipe, which I THOUGHT was too easy to mess up... Evidently I was wrong, but I have faith that you will have no problems.
Chicken and Mushroom Marsala
1 boneless chicken breast per person
1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
3 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 onion, sliced thin
10 oz. mushrooms, sliced thin
1/2 cup Marsala
1 cup chicken broth
2 tablespoons minced fresh chives
Pat chicken dry and season with salt and pepper. In a large heavy skillet heat oil and 1 1/2 tablespoons butter over moderately high heat until hot but not smoking and brown chicken in 2 batches, transferring with tongs to a large plate as browned.
Discard all but 1 tablespoon fat from skillet and sauté onion and mushrooms, stirring occasionally, until liquid mushrooms give off is evaporated. Add Marsala and cook mixture, stirring, until Marsala is almost evaporated. Add broth and chicken with any juices that have accumulated on plate and simmer, turning chicken once, until cooked through, about 15 minutes. Transfer chicken with tongs to a platter.
Simmer mushroom sauce until liquid is reduced to about 1/2 cup. Remove skillet from heat and stir in remaining 2 tablespoons butter and salt and pepper to taste, stirring until butter is just incorporated. Spoon mushroom sauce over chicken and sprinkle with chives.
Happy noshing! Love,