Tuesday, September 21, 2010

This is my confession.

You Guys.  I do not understand why you won’t just come forward and tell me.  I am not upset, I am seriously tickled that someone out there could be so funny. 

WHO. THE EFF.  IS SEARCHING “BABY COWS” and finding my blog?  WHO IS DOING IT?! 2 more times this week. I mean this time they left off the last half of the most amazing phrase ever, but seriously. Be my friend. Tell me who you are, or make me like you even more if we already are friends.

For those of you who missed it, 2 weeks ago, someone searched the exact phrase “the baby cows to frolick” and found my blog via my exact use of that phrase in my “Where the hell are all the veal vendors?” post.  I laughed. I almost peed.  It brought me extreme joy.

HOW ABOUT THIS?  I will cook you a 3 – NO - 4 course meal, if you come forward and tell me you searched that and found my blog.  Chances are I am going to want to have dinner with you anyway, because you are effing funny brother, or sister, or cat with opposable thumbs. 

I cannot live knowing you are out there, being all funny, typing “the baby cows to frolick” into google.  I need you in my life, and pal I need ya now. You can be my Chuy

The baby cows. To frolick.  EVERY TIME!!!!!! I. Die.

Ok so I have a confession. It’s big and it makes me an asshole.

I hate leftovers. There. I said it.  I am the asshole that cooks 3 birds and doesn’t want to eat the leftover meat.  I open the container and am repulsed by the smell of day old bird.  I am a left over snob.

I know, I know.  I am supposed to care about this stuff, and in THEORY I do. But when I open that container of mushed up bird that I quickly dumped all haphazardly in there, I get grossed out and I don’t want to eat it.

You can imagine what last night’s dinner was like, since we had enough meat left over to deem me a complete ASS for refusing to eat it.

So this is what I did to make myself feel better. Prepare your best laugh. Get ready.

I straight SPRINKLED meat around huevos to make myself feel like we weren’t wasting it. 

That, is how I make myself sleep at night. You’re welcome.


I took everything but the kitchen sink and straight put them into what I feel comfortable calling “huevos amuricanos” Cause they aren’t quite rancheros… and who doesn’t love AMURICAH eff YA!

2 fried eggs over easy
1 whole wheat tortilla
2 tablespoons salsa
1 tablespoon of fresh pico de gallo
Shredded Gouda
Green onions
And you guessed it, shredded Turducken meat.

I hope you laughed at this “effort” as much as I did.

So seriously, show your face and tell me if you are the one typing in amazing phrases and finding my blog. KAYTHANKSBAI!

OOHHH! And pretty please go vote for Amuse Bouche in Project Food Blog here! We only have until Thursday to vote on this round!




  1. You are too funny, and I already voted :) And I love that you used gouda...

  2. HAHA well it was that or brie, or american slices... so i really had no choice :) Thank you I returned the favor already as well!

  3. This post made me chuckle! You got my vote!

  4. LOL - I love reading the searches that bring folks to my blog. Yours, however, takes the cake. Totally.

  5. I haven't checked the searches that bring people to my blog...don't know how, but I'm sure it could be a riot! I don't much care for leftovers either...if I don't eat it the next day? It ain't happening. Luckily, Michael has a cast iron stomach and will gladly eat whatever is left!

  6. Hi-LARIOUS. I wish I had been the searcher but alas, I am not. I once was stalking a boyfriend's ex-gf (c'mon, we all do it) and somehow the girl I'd never met FIGURED IT OUT. The only logical explanation is, obviously...she was stalking me too. Anywho. That is really, really funny.

  7. Jillian, bravo. that is HYSTERICAL and yes we are all guilty of a little stalking :)

  8. these dishes are the best kind - leftovers are the best...

  9. Hahahaha. I love it!!