Tuesday, October 19, 2010

A Midnight Snack....

Here’s the deal. We are all guilty of it.  

We do it when we drink, we do it when we’re dieting and we’re hungry late at night, we do it when we’re bored. We do it, when (heaven save their dumb asses) boyfriends change their minds (no worries - Dad’s right here lovin’ Mom!) and when we fight with our girlfriends.

No matter the reason, we effin’ do it.  I am guilty. So are you. We late night snack.

And here’s what I have to say about it.  If you’re going to eat late night, you might as go for the gold sister.  Put on your stretchy pants, and eat the whole damn pizza.  And if a pizza’s not enough for you.


You read right. I said Cheesy Clinton.  Oh, you’re not familiar with what that is?  You must not have gone to Miami of Ohio!  See, I went to college, all bright eyed and bushy tailed thinking that the greatest thing EVER was going to happen to me.  I was going to go drink beer, and my mom was not going to be there to catch me.  Well, that happened, but it wasn’t the greatest thing that ever happened to me. The Cheesy Clinton was.  Let me tell you about good ole CC.

It’s past midnight in 2003 and John Clinton is duh-runk.  He’s a junior at Miami of Ohio, and he’s ready to get his glutton on.  He orders what he believes is a slice of pizza and a grilled cheese from a late night cafeteria on Ole’ Miami’s campus.  Well, the gal working the counter can barely understand his request because he is slurring like Mel Gibson, so she assumes he asks for “A piece of pizza in a grilled cheese”.  Girlfriend isn’t in the business of asking questions, especially of someone with a one way ticket to the porcelain theatre later, so she just slaps a piece of pizza in a grilled cheese and gives it to him.

Pause * FUGLORIOUS angels sing and cosmic stars align * 

And the Cheesy Clinton was born.  John Clinton paved the way for all drunk college students at Miami of Ohio, and a short year later when I went to college and learned about the Cheesy Clinton, my late night life changed forever.  Cheesy Clinton for president! (insert gratuitous Monica jokes here...)

I became more of a reasonable human being later in my college years and cut out Cheesy Clintons, because I love myself and don’t want to die.  That, and I moved further away from the student center that served them - AND I discovered bagel and deli delivered, who then became number 8 on my speed dial. (What?!?! They STEAM the bagels, it's genius!) Regardless waking up the day after binge drinking and a Clinton, not a good morning. 

Fast forward to 2010.  I have been out of college for 2 years and haven’t thought of a Cheesy Clinton in four.  I am thinking about PFB’s pizza challenge, trying to think out of the box, and come up with this creative idea, when I realize, the obvious answer is right in front of me.  Cheesy Flippin’ Clintons. The homemade gourmet edition, of course. 

Pizza for the Clintons

2 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon salt
1 tablespoon pure olive oil
3/4 cup warm water
2 cups bread flour
1 teaspoon instant yeast
2 teaspoons olive oil
Flour for dusting
Mozzarella Cheese (as much as you want )
Turkey Peperoni
3 cloves garlic
1 small yellow onion
1 can 28 ounces of tomato puree
1 tablespoon sugar
Salt and pepper
Pinch of dried oregano
Pinch of crushed red pepper

Happy Face, cause it's Clinton time...
Place the sugar, salt, olive oil, water, 1 cup of flour, yeast, and remaining cup of flour into the mixer's work bowl. 

Using the paddle attachment, start the mixer on low and mix until the dough just comes together, forming a ball. Lube the hook attachment with cooking spray. Attach the hook to the mixer and knead for 15 minutes on medium speed. 

Tear off a small piece of dough and flatten into a disc. Stretch the dough until thin. Hold it up to the light and look to see if the baker's windowpane, or taut membrane, has formed. If the dough tears before it forms, knead the dough for an additional 5 to 10 minutes. 

Roll the pizza dough into a smooth ball on the countertop. Place into a stainless steel or glass bowl. Add 2 teaspoons of olive oil to the bowl and toss to coat. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 18 to 24 hours. 

Place the pizza stone or tile onto the bottom of a cold oven and turn the oven to its highest temperature, about 450 degrees F. If the oven has coils on the oven floor, place the tile onto the lowest rack of the oven. 

Split the pizza dough into 2 equal parts using a knife or a dough scraper. Flatten into a disk onto the countertop and then fold the dough into a ball. 

Wet hands barely with water and rub them onto the countertop to dampen the surface. Roll the dough on the surface until it tightens. Cover one ball with a tea towel and rest for 30 minutes. 

Sprinkle the flour onto the peel and place the dough onto the peel. Stretch the dough into a round disc, rotating after each stretch. 

Slide the pizza onto the tile and bake for 7 minutes, or until bubbly and golden brown. Rest for 3 minutes before slicing. 

Pizza Sauce

Note * some people like a smooth tomato sauce, I feel it’s better with some onion and garlic chunks in it.  Puree it if you care, but for the love of MARTHA DON’ T LEAVE THEM OUT*

look at that freakin' precious apron!

Over medium heat, heat oil in a saucepan until hot.  Add garlic and onions and cook to a sweat, then add tomato sauce, 1 tablespoon sugar, crushed red pepper, oregano, salt and pepper. lower heat and allow to simmer for 30 minutes.

Oh, my Martha, Turkey Roni.

Cheesy Clinton’s
2 slices of Cheddar Cheese per Clinton
1 piece of pizza ( your choice ) per Clinton
2 slices of homemade white bread (recipe to be posted tomorrow)
Butter. Both sides of the bread and in the pan, don’t be lame.

You all know how to make a grilled cheese, just put a piece of pizza in the middle and call it a Clinton. And pray to Martha your heart still beats after you’ve eaten it…

Now, you go ahead and tell me that Breakfast for Dinner and a Midnight Snack isn't a winning combo.  You go right ahead...

And don't forget to pray to Grilled Cheesus before you eat your dinner! GOSH!




  1. I just had the biggest smile on my face reading this. Shout out to all that went to Miami! We all died and went to cheesy heaven after having our first freshman year, I know I did! Love you!

  2. Ahhhh I want one right now!! RIGHT MEOW!!!! I lived in The Hurst, aka - the best dorm ever because of it's location to Shriver with this heavenly creation - and it truly is the best midnight snack around. My 3 am reward for making it all the way down slant walk without urinating in a bush or throwing up, if you will. Yours looks delicious :) Maybe I should track down Mr. Clinton himself and rope him into dating me.

  3. That's so dang funny! And cheesy goodness.

  4. That is just wonderful! I love stories of how foods like this are born. What a classic! And I will bet it tastes fantastic. Great post! Loved the "Glee" reference in the last line as well. :)

  5. I cannot even tell you how excited I was to see this! I graduated from Miami in 2007 and loved getting Clintons from the student union. Everyone I describe them to who didn't go to Miami is confused and a little skeptical. Clearly, we know what's up :)

  6. Truth: I went to Miami University.
    Truth: I have never had a Clinton.

    Please make me one when I come to see you, pretty please. They took them away for a period of time while I was in college and didn't care how much weight I gained...and I have missed out.

    flove you.

  7. Grilled Cheesus! Glee is my favorite tv guilty pleasure. That show always distracts me when I should be reading or writing a paper. Evil, evil temptress. Seriously, though, did you wrap your pizza in a grilled cheese? Holy hannah! We need to schedule our weekend get together - soon!

  8. Hysterical! You got me thinking back to the ol' college days. My late night pizza of choice on those certain evenings was called a GUTBUSTER. U of Illinois, I wonder if they still have 'em there?

  9. I'm your newest happy follower.

  10. Love and honor to the clinton...mmm. P.S. your homemade pizza looks DELISH and I want a piece right now!

  11. I think the next step is making this a Clinton Cristo, dipped in egg, and fried in butta. Have you seen the grilled cheese with mozzarella sticks in it at Denny's? This kicks that sandwich's ass.

  12. Holy sweet mother! This post is going to dangerous to me after I've had a drink, or six. I'll be sure to bust out some stretchy pants for the occasion!

    I'm featuring this post of my Friday Favourites on my blog this week. Feel free to check it out http://akajolie.blogspot.com


  13. this is CRAZY because my boyfriend and I were talking to a friend about how great Clintons were and she didn't know what they were. I mentioned, "Mike I could make these at home with my homemade pizza"!!! This was in Chicago THIS WEEKEND! WEIRD! I am going to have to make that bread, but bread making scares the bejeesus out of me.