Bitch, Be Thankful! What is better than sweet tea lemonade on a hot summer day? Green Beans. Sweet Martha, green beans.
Do you know it's practically impossible for me to eat green beans (my absolute FAVORITE vegetable) in Kentucky, because they insist on cooking them for 12 hours with a ham hock? It's heartbreaking. It's all "I'm tender and juicy, and i smell like fat. Eat me! Oh wait, HAH you can't."
It's not flippin funny. And then, when it's Thanksgiving time, it's just a knife to the chest that everyone insists on putting bacon in the green bean casserole. Isn't it bad enough people? Do you all have to taunt me so? I get it. It is a damn shame that I can't eat pork, but do you really have to ruin my favorite vegetable too?
So just to stick it to the man, neither of my green bean casseroles have bacon in them. SO THERE! Changing Thanksgiving, one green bean casserole at a time.
In other news, I was talking to someone about Thanksgiving, and they expressed that their family doesn't have green bean casserole. WHAT THE EFF? Listen, that is unamerican. Take your family a damn green bean casserole and pledge allegiance to the bean. Do it. I will sit here an wait for you to pick one of these, but seriously. I am not thankful, if there aren't green beans.
I pledge allegiance, to the bean,
of the green grass fields of Kentucky.
And to the ham hock, for which it blends,
one flavor, under Martha, tasting fawesome,
with happiness, and full bellies for all.
I think there's a future for me in writing pledges... and I know I have a future with green beans in it.
Green Bean Casserole
3 cups vegetable oil
6 large shallots, cut into very thin rounds, rings separated
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
Coarse salt and ground pepper
2 pounds green beans, trimmed and halved
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter
1 pound button mushrooms, trimmed and coarsely chopped
14.5 ounces low-sodium chicken broth
1 cup whole milk
Preheat oven to 425 degrees. In a large skillet, heat oil over medium. Line a baking sheet with paper towels. In a large bowl, toss together shallots and 1 1/4 cups flour until shallots are evenly coated. In batches, shake off excess flour from shallots and fry until golden and crisp, about 5 minutes, adjusting heat if shallots are browning too quickly. With a slotted spoon, transfer to sheet and season with salt. Set aside.
In a large pot of boiling salted water, cook green beans until crisp-tender, 6 minutes. Drain and rinse with cold water to stop the cooking. Pat dry.
In a large saucepan, melt butter over medium-high. Add mushrooms and cook until liquid has evaporated, about 7 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Add 1/4 cup flour and cook, stirring, until incorporated, about 1 minute. Whisking constantly, gradually add broth, then milk. Bring to a simmer. Cook, stirring occasionally, until sauce thickens, about 5 minutes.
Season with salt and pepper.
Add green beans to mushroom sauce and toss to coat. Transfer mixture to a 9-by-13-inch baking dish. Bake until bubbling around edges, about 15 minutes. Serve topped with fried shallots.
Greenbean and Artichoke Casserole
Coarse salt and ground pepper
1 pound green beans, trimmed and cut into 2-inch lengths
4 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 cups whole milk
1 can (14 ounces) artichoke hearts in water, drained, squeezed dry, and quartered lengthwise
6 slices white sandwich bread, crusts removed, coarsely chopped
Preheat oven to 425 degrees. In a large pot of boiling salted water, cook green beans until tender, 4 to 6 minutes. Drain, and set aside.
In a large saucepan, melt butter over medium. Transfer 2 tablespoons to a medium bowl, and set aside for breadcrumb topping. To remaining butter in pan, add flour and garlic; cook, whisking, for 1 minute (do not let brown). Gradually whisk in milk; bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer; cook until sauce has thickened, 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in green beans and artichoke hearts; season with salt, pepper, and a pinch of cayenne. Transfer to a shallow 2-quart baking dish.
Toss breadcrumbs with reserved melted butter; scatter over green bean mixture. Bake until crumbs are golden brown and sauce is bubbling, 10 to 15 minutes.
So, do you pledge allegiance?